You can pierce your ears when you are twelve. You can go to the mall with your friends when you are twelve. You can babysit tiny Timmy next door when you are twelve. You can get a cell phone when you are twelve. Hey, you can even ride in the front passenger-side seat when you are twelve.
When you are twelve, when you are twelve, when you are twelve . . .
My name is Rory Swenson, and I’ve been waiting to turn twelve my whole life. In exactly 18 hours, 36 minutes, and 52 seconds, it will finally happen.
My life will officially begin.
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Tall tales, all true, about guns, bombs, automobile chases, spiders, exotic locales, men in uniform, and dancing girls—with deadpan delivery and a social conscience I remember the advertisement to join the Army. It asked for guys who were fit, committed, tough, volunteer parachutists, comfortable in the ocean, and mature. As a surfer, that sounded like me—except for the mature bit.
Nathan Mullins is an ex-cop, ex-soldier, ex-security consultant, and an Australian Aid International volunteer, so he has experienced all sorts of hazardous situations involving guns, explosions, surgical procedures, combat, sword-play, rioting, and other potentially life-threatening behaviors all over the world. He has been lucky to survive his assignments and hijinks, and here he shares a few cautionary tales so everyone else can learn from his near misses. Read details »
It may not be great literature — but at least it’s handy.
From the mastermind of the hugely successful The Red Green Show comes a book that is going to change your life, or at least make you laugh — a lot — whenever you pick it up. And people are going to be picking it up for many years to come, because — like the long-rerunning TV shows — there is not a topical gag in the book anywhere, so it’s going to be funny for the forseeable future. And as its title suggests, this is also a terribly useful book. Among its very many gems of advice, it shows how to cook with acetylene, take revenge on a lawn mower, measure your hat size with a two-by-four, reduce your carbon footprint (it involves moving into a fruit tree located next to a liquor store) and make your own alternative fuel (which involves an empty propane tank and a full septic one). Read details »
An invaluable guide on how to “lighten up” from a distinguished pro who has provided laughs for JAY LENO, BILLY CRYSTAL, STEVE MARTIN, ROBIN WILLIAMS, BRAD GARRETT, WHOOPI GOLDBERG, AND MANY MORE.
Who hasn’t wished for the perfect withering comeback line, a clever tension-breaking quip, or a winning flirtatious remark? Being funny is hard work and not everyone is a natural. How to Be Funny is a witty guide that teaches readers precisely how to be funnier in each day life. It’s a must-read for anyone who has to talk in public, be engaging and funny at work or at play, or who hopes to one day go out on a date.
Jon Macks, a comedy writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, the Academy Awards, the Emmy Awards, Hollywood Squares, and the nation’s top comedians, politicians, and corporate leaders, knows his funny business. Here he demystifies the process of making people laugh, breaks down the basic building blocks and types of humor — which include self-deprecation, misdirection, deadpan delivery, sarcasm, and “the reverse” — and reveals the ideal approaches to use in common situations.
How to Be Funny features helpful (and hilarious) tips and anecdotes from the comic legends Mack’s worked with — including Jay Leno, Arsenio Hall, Gilbert Gottfried, Billy Crystal, Rita Rudner, Dave Barry, and Carrie Fisher — in his eleven years as one of the nation’s top tv writers.
Whether the goal is to give a memorable public address or deliver a killer line with friends, How to Be Funny is a charming, instructive, and practical read. Read details »
Get ready for riotous laughs as funnymen Sinbad (THE SINBAD SHOW) and Phil Hartman (SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NEWSRADIO) team up in this outrageous comedy hit! Sinbad is Kevin Franklin, a get-rich-quick con man who escapes the mob by impersonating the long-lost friend of an uptight businessman (Hartman) — and moving in with his family! Soon this wily con artist is struggling to find out who he is pretending to be … a wine expert, a golfer, or even a dentist! But when the family starts to see through his act, and the mob catches on to his scam, Kevin finds his escapade as a “houseguest” is suddenly much more than he bargained for! Read details »
It has been stated by many who know me that I really need to begin chronicling my life as I seem to have one outlandish or ridiculous story after another. In November of 2006 I began doing just that. I started recalling instances and occurrences from my entire life that have stood out, made myself and others laugh, were life changing, and taught some kind of moral. These started coming out in a collection of stories posted as an world wide web blog that became increasingly more and more popular. When it came to the point I started getting requests for stories to write from those who know me and putting them down, I realized I needed to form a collection of writings in the form of a book. These stories span the spectrum of subject matter from drunken escapades, sexual adventures, adolescent chicanery, love and adoration, and shitting one’s self. I make no apologies for the irreverence contained in these writings. Those poor souls who are offended by such subject matter probably deep down wish they were me. These stories, in no particular order, follow me through childhood, then teen and high school years, the college experience, and adult life thus far. And I have found that no matter what age, not a lot of shit changes. Just the context in which we see them. Read details »
A complete collection of all of my short stories, as well as a special, printed edition of the highly acclaimed, public domain novel “The Ghost Pirates” by William Hope Hodgson. The main story, Ghosts of the Clubhouse, is the longer, edited version of my first story, First Encounter. It involves the misadventures of Michelle and Jenny as they uncover the mystery of the infamous pirate, Jack. The proceeds from the sale of this book will go towards supporting the noble efforts of the Electronic Frontier Foundation and my continued education in college. Thanks! Read details »
Each extravagant synthetic hair mustache is 16 inches wide when straight and features a flexible internal wire in case you want to shape it differently. Fits on your face with a rubber piece that gently clips to your nose. Read details »
Eight million people improve their mornings by tuning into Terry’s words of wisdom on Wake up to Wogan. But is their appetite sated by this daily exposure? Not in the slightest. So it’s lucky that Terry has been known to turn his hand to the odd bit of writing. This has granted him to shed light on such weighty matters as how to survive a wedding, what Bank Holidays are for, why Eurovision could be responsible for the Celtic Tiger, whether we should watch out for potatoes, and where exactly it all went pear-shaped …WHERE WAS I? gives his devoted followers exactly what they want – the unadulterated, inimitable Wogan viewpoint; a droll, forthright voice of sanity in a world gone gently mad (or is it them?). Like his broadcasting, his writing is an effortless flow of simple wit and sage opinion. WHERE WAS I? builds up a picture not only of Terry’s world, but of Terry himself – a man who somehow manages to be off the wall and on the money all at the same time. Never less than funny, and never less than frank, WHERE WAS I? demonstrates exactly how he has come to be regarded as a national treasure. Read details »
It was a time of heroes. Well, almost. They were hearty men in those days. Men who, like Bartholomew Hunt and Leslie Edwards, made sure that when adventure called, it got a wrong number. Chris Farley and Matthew Perry team with director Christopher Guest (Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show) to venture into uncharted comedy territory. Where explorers Lewis and Clark go, Hunt (Farley) and Edwards (Perry) follow, hoping to overtake the famed expeditioners and be the more fiery trailblazers. In a land dotted with bears, native tribes, pioneer outposts and wandering conquistadors having a bad hair day, is there not also room for two more adventurers eager to make a name for themselves? Westward ho-ho-ho! Read details »
